


Battle For That Bottom

by HinaSaku



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Sex, Battle, Battle for Bikini Bottom, Drunk Sex, F/M, Game Spoilers, Gay Bashing, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Homophobia, Killer Robots, Love/Hate, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Parody, Possibly Unrequited Love, Public Nudity, Rating May Change, Robot/Human Relationships, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, SpongeBob SquarePants References, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Hate, Video & Computer Games, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-18 07:17:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9374027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HinaSaku/pseuds/HinaSaku
Summary: After Bikini Bottom becomes overrun with robots, it's up to Spongebob and Patrick to stop the robot threat but only because Spongebob'll do anything for Squidward's safety and Patrick think the trip'll be fun. Some yaoi/boyxboy going on as well as OOCness. Human!Characters. A parody of Battle for Bikini Bottom.





	1. Chapter 1

_Patchy: Are ya ready kids?_

_Kid #1: Hell yeah!_

_Kid #2: WOOOOOOOOO! Bring on the sponge!_

_Kid # 5: Uh you're supposed to say..._

_Kid#2: I know that. I can't help I'm hype 'bout my main man!_

_Kid#4: Weirdos._

_Patchy: If you don't say what you're supposed to, get the hell outta here!_

_Kid#1: Ooooooooh! You cussed!_

_Kid #3: You did too!_

_Patchy: Whatever. From the top!_

* * *

 

(Spongeone's theme song starts playing as it cuts from Patchy's face to Spongebob outside of his home waiting for the player to press "start" so the game could begin. While the song plays, the player presses "start" and is brought to the main menu which is fairly plain with only a splash of goo on top of sand behind the menu options. The player pushes the button for "new game" and the song instantly cuts off as the screen fades to black and fills with bubbles.)

(We then cut to an image of the city of Bikini Bottom in the background with Spongebob's neighborhood in the foreground with the narrator's smooth voice narrating as we look over it and other places, such as a couple of hills, coral, rocks, and a road. Thanks for showing us uninteresting crap, game.)

_Narrator: Welcome to Bikini Bottom. A normally peaceful sanctuary. Today it will be transformed into a tier of pure horror..._

_[Shit! Who's getting killed?!]_

(Camera pans over to Spongebob's crib.)

_Narrator:. ..where our little yellow friend will play the staring role._

_[Isn't Patrick...?]_

(Cuts to Chum Bucket)

"Today's the day I finally get the Krabby Patty recipe!" said Plankton rubbing together his hands as he stood in front of his Duplicatotron 3000 aka his robot making machine. "If Bikini Bottom gets destroyed in the process, oh well!"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," replied his robot wife putting her hand on her hips. "Aren't you trying to sell them?"

"There are other places to sell the burgers, smart ass," He rolled his one eye.

"I know that, but if you destroy Bikini Bottom and it gets traced back to you..." She began.

"Stop trying to spoil my fun!" He said quickly as to not bring logic into his plans. "Anyways, time to turn this thing on!"

Plankton went over to the controls of the machine, ready to turn it on and finally get that formula he had been after for years. This plan couldn't possibly fail! As if she knew what he was thinking, Karen quickly reminded him to not get his hopes up as his plans always found a way to fail because of how either careless or forgetful he was. Plankton ignore his robot wife, as usual, and decided to review his checklist.

"Is Plankton an evil genuis? Yep! Okay time to flip the switch!" With that, the one-eyed master mind flipped the switch to the machine and out popped the robots, one by one.

However there was one major detail he had forgotten about. He hadn't flipped the _other_ switch for them to obey him. Why he even had a switch like that, nobody knows. Unfortunately for him, he hadn't even noticed or checked as he was too busy grinning with glee at the site of the machines. He wanted to take a picture to remember the moment for a future occasion for after he rubbed it in Mr. Krab's face about his success. Before he could get the camera, a few of the robots that Plankton made surrounded him and picked him up while the other ones started wrecking havoc such as destroying his good china.

"What the...? Hey! What are you doing? Put me down!" growled the green haired man as they made their way towards the door. What the heck was going on? They weren't acting right and obeying his commands! Then his eye went over to the machine. Damn it! He had forgotten to switch it to obey! 'Why the hell didn't I have it on obey in the first place?! No, why did I have that option period!?'

It was too late to do anything now. Given that the robots were much bigger and stronger than him, he was tossed out of the Chum Bucket on his ass. He pounded on the door demanding that the robots let him in, but they ignored him. When they did open up, it was to throw out his wife who landed right on top of him.

"KAREN GET YOUR FAT ASS OFF OF ME!" yelled Plankton as he tried pushing his wife off of him.

" _You're_ the one who made it fat!" she snapped as she added more pressure and wiggled her bottom on him while glaring at him. "And don't you dare yell at me, genius! I wouldn't have gotten outnumbered and kicked out on you if you hadn't been stupid!"

"Alright! I'm sorry!" Karen got off of him and helped him off the ground. The green haired man brushed off the sand on his clothes before looking at the resturant. "I can't believe those fools! This wasn't supposed to happen!"

"Maybe if you look before you cut that thing on..."

"Don't start with me! I know! Geez!" He sighed. How the heck was he getting back inside and get things back in order? When he peeked into the window, the robots were making more of themselves. This was bad for him and everyone else in Bikini Bottom and perhaps even the whole world! Then again it was going to be that way anyways except with it being bad for everyone except himself and Karen of course. If only he had made a wireless "OFF" button for himself. "We need help and quick!"

"And how do you suppose we get help?" questioned his robot wife. "Last time I checked, you could get locked up for this since you're the one who build the stupid things!."

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" asked Plankton. "I'm not gonna run to the cops about this! What kind of fool do you take me for?"

"Well..." She began.

"Save it," He said holding up a hand. He rubbed his chin for a minute, thinking before a light bulb went off in his head. "I've got it! I know who we get!"

"Who?"

"The biggest dumbass you know!" When Karen opened her mouth, he stopped her. "On second thought, just follow me."

 


	2. Chapter 2

Spongebob and Patrick were over at Spongebob's house playing with tiny robots which weren't even real aka moving. Even though they weren't moving, the two still had fun playing although Spongebob wished they were real because that would be really cool.

"You know, we can have them be if you want," said Patrick.

"For real? How?"

Patrick held up a conch shell which heavily resembled the magic conch shell that they used to get out of the kelp forest. The only way that it couldn't be it was that this one did have a string or speaker. Apparently the shell could be used to make a wish after you put whatever you wished inside of it and shook it. Spongebob was ready to play with said robots in the morning and as a result had a hard time getting to sleep that night. Imagine all the fun he could do with those robots!

The next morning, Spongebob jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs in a hurry. To his horror his house was completely trashed, his living room smelled of smoke and burning rubber, there were burn markers on the floor, and his wall had the words "Bikini Bottom Stinks!" on it.

"What the...?!" Who the heck would do this? Just then the new came on despite Spongebob not have turned on the tv.

RTFH (Realistic Talking Fish Head)*: Breaking News! Bikini Bottom residents have been attacked by a raging torrent of robot horror.

"Oops!" said Spongebob biting his lip. Robots had caused this mess. The very same robots he had wished up had come and were destroying the town. Oh boy.

RTFH: Authorities aren't sure who is responsible for unleashing the mechanical menaces, but they have assured us that the person is in big, big trouble.

"Uh oh."

Did I say "big trouble"? I meant "so enormous that it's hard to comprehend trouble". We'll keep you posted as this tragic story unfolds...tragically we're sure.

"Oh boy," Spongebob gulped. "I better get over to Patrick's and see if he can help me sort out this mess."

Spongebob's stomach growled loudly indicating his hunger. Even with all this destruction going on, he'd need to keep himself fed if he wanted to get through the day after all. When he went into the kitchen, he found his typewriter on the kitchen table with a freshly typed up note on it. Spongebob densely didn't question why his old typewriter was out but instead paid more attention to the fact that it was from his boss.

Ahoy there, Spongebob. As a faithful crew member of the Krusty Krab, I've promoted you to head shiny object collector. So what this new job entails is that you collect all these shiny objects that the robots have left behind and bring this to me. Now stop sea horsing around and get busy collecting!

"Yes! A promotion!" grinned Spongebob as Gary came into the room and leaped onto the kitchen counter to peer over his master's shoulder.

His red eyes skimmed over the paper briefly and rolled his eyes. This "promotion" was pretty much promoting Spongebob to chore boy something he already does when Krabs couldn't be assed to do something especially something dangerous like what he was asking Spongebob to do. Collecting those things might end up getting Spongebob hurt, but Krabs wouldn't care if he got his miserly hands on those shiny things. Boss of the year right there folks. Too bad Spongebob wasn't less dense when it came to his boss otherwise he'd be questioning this as well as the fact that Krabs had to be able to get into his house somehow.

After a quick breakfast of pancakes (what? He had a full day ahead after all), Spongebob went to his closet and found a Golden Spatula. What the heck was it doing there in the first place anyways? Oh well. Who cares! It was a free spatula and a golden one at that! He grabbed the floating golden spatula and made his way to the front door. Good thing that he picked that spatula up since the door was requiring him to have one golden for some reason. It must be because of the robots. Good thing he picked that thing up. Otherwise he may not have been able to get out of the house except maybe through the window. Perhaps he should be on the lookout for more just in case they needed to used to get somewhere. Also they were pretty looking too.

When he got outside he met Plankton of all people. It was pretty weird seeing the man on this side of the pond (so to speak). What could the man be up to this time? "Plankton, what are you doing here? Come to try stealing the formula again, huh?"

"Oh fuck off, you Square-Fucker!" snapped Plankton. "I'm not in the fucking mood for your fucking mouth right fucking now! So piss off! Besides if I wanted to go after the formula, why the hell would I be over here, you stupid cock sucker?!"

"Geez! You don't have to swear!" Spongebob could tell Plankton was pretty mad about something but if it wasn't the fact that he didn't have the formula was what was ailing him, then he didn't know.

"Fuck you!" he shouted.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked.

"Well if you insist on knowing then it's those stupid robots! They're running amuck and were tearing up my resturant! They even bent my spoons! I loved those spoons like they were my own children!"

"But you don't have any children."

"The point is that those robots are a menace and they need to be stopped!" He thought for a second. "That's it! Spongebob, I'll tell you what. If you can get me inside of the Chum Bucket, I'll give you something real nice."

"Like a golden spatula?" He asked excitedly.

"Sure," He said smirking. "As a matter of fact, I'll give you a bucket full of 'em!" He then muttered to himself, "In your dreams."

"Sounds like a deal!" Despite the fact that Spongebob was already going try getting rid of the robots himself, the idea of collecting more spatulas already made him momentarily forget this. Plankton grinned evilly as the taller man ran off to his egotistical co-worker's home. The idiot had no clue that those robots were his fault and that by getting him back into the Chum Bucket meant getting Plankton control back and therefore access to getting the formula from Krabs.


End file.
